Coming Soon to Wisconsin: KY-Coated Smoking Ban

No sooner had I written my post about no longer having any guilt for smoking, did Governor Doyle decide to cater to special- interests and spit on private property rights by calling for a statewide smoking ban.

Doyle said Wisconsin must act quickly to avoid becoming the “ashtray of the upper Midwest.” Both Illinois and Minnesota have recently passed comprehensive smoking bans.

Like all bad ideas borne of government oppression, Doyle’s proposal has its democrat supporters.  Senator Roger Breske (D) is trying to play both sides, knowing full-well that the ban will cause tremendous harm to Wisconsin businesses…

Two senators working on reaching a deal _ Roger Breske, D-Eland, and Fred Risser, D-Madison _ met Monday and promised to talk again Wednesday. Breske, who wants an exemption for taverns, said he and Risser agreed not to talk about their discussions for now. One possible solution would be to phase-in the exemption for taverns.

“I feel that there is room for an agreement without causing undo harm to small business owners,” Breske said. “We all know it’s going to come down the road, but why do we have to shove it down their throat?”

Yeah!  You tell ‘em, Breske! You big, badass democrat!  You’ll just take our rights and livelihood away from us a little bit at a time, so we don’t really notice it so much.  A kinder, gentler raping of rights.  A KY-coated smoking ban, if you will.  Where do I sign up for that sweet deal?

Let me make this clear:  There is no compromise on private property rights.  There’s no “deal” to be made, here.  If a politician supports any part of a smoking ban on private property, they’re either being honest about squashing one of our most precious rights as American citizens, or they’re nothing but wimpy opportunists who simply want to stay in the best job they ever had.

Aside from the opportunistic politicians, we also have the special interest groups, who are the fuel that keeps the freedom-dissolving machine running:

It’s time for Wisconsin to join with 22 other states that ban smoking in bars and restaurants, said Aaron Doeppers, director of the Midwest region of the anti-smoking group Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids.

No, Aaron.  I think we should ban sanctimonious do-gooders like you, who think Wisconsinites are too stupid or incoherent to make decisions for themselves.

I’m thinking of starting a ‘campaign’ of my own.  I like to call it the “Campaign for Pretentiousness-Free Wisconsin”.  All self-important asses will be driven into Illinois and Minnesota, where they can prance around in their little bicycle helmets, go into those “health spas” we here in Wisconsin like to call “bars”, drink fruit smoothies, and suck on flavored oxygen until they pass out from sheer healthiness.   Then the rest of us will be free to go into grimy, greasy spoons and backwoods taverns, where we can drink, dance, listen to really loud music, and yes – even smoke – if we damn well feel like it.

I am absolutely livid (can you tell?) , and it’s not because I’m a smoker.  It’s because these nanny do-gooders seem hell-bent on making criminals of law-abiding citizens, and turning the rest of populace into stool pigeons, all while Rome burns…and with false data and inconclusive studies, no less.  Then, on top of that, they insult us by telling us that we can’t possibly make good, informed decisions on where we go to eat or drink.  We can’t be trusted with ourselves, apparently.

Can’t these buffoons find something else to concern themselves with?  Aren’t there other, more pressing issues in our state?

I guess I had forgotten that government is here to protect us from ourselves, not from actual threats like illegal immigrants and true criminals.

My Italian blood is boiling.

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