You know all that advice you get when it comes to shyness.
The stuff that says get out there and feel bad about yourself
in front of a bunch of strangers?
I mentioned bad shyness advice already in the email the other
day so I won’t go over why that’s bad advice again.
But I do want to look at it in a little more detail today. Really, I want to look at how to overcome shyness properly.
We’re going to use a baby steps version.
Something to get you on the road to feeling comfortable
talking to anyone.
Before we get to that however…
I want to thank everyone who takes the time to email me.
I try and sit and reply to as many as I can every week but
I can’t always manage it.
Some of you get one on one coaching with me via email.
Others ask the same questions as 50 other people that day.
Which is 100% fine. Keep asking questions I’ll reply as best
and as often as I can.
But rather than send 50 of the same replies to everyone
if I get the same questions I’d rather cover it in a lesson.
This means that the people who didn’t email me (and probably
have the same kind of problems) still benefit and I get
time to actually do the training.
But know that I do read every email that comes in. If I
don’t reply straight away it’s because the training is going
to cover what you’re asking in the near future.
OK so with my excuse for sleeping in this morning out of the way,
why don’t we get down to some techniques you can actually
You guys are going to love this one.
Anyone working with the SSA system
Will probably be used to this one by now and using some of the
more advanced stuff.
But if nothing else it’ll serve as a refresher.
This is actually going to seem pretty simple.
And to be honest it is. You ever heard of KISS?
Keep It Simple Stupid.
We’ll look at some more advanced stuff later.
The SSA guys already do. But the rest of us are
keeping it with baby steps.
You remember yesterdays email about the social hierarchy?
Basically the jist was you’re not going to be shy around everyone.
Whether it’s family or someone you don’t consider a “high threat”.
Someone you wouldn’t be uncomfortable talking to.
We’re not going to throw you right into the middle of a party or
group of strangers. But to “rewire” the shyness out of your brain
we are going to need some social exposure.
We’re going to need someone (or a type of person) you
feel comfortable speaking to. Someone we can use to train
your social skills with.
Don’t worry they won’t know. You’ll basically just be talking to
them but keeping certain techniques in mind.
The techniques you can start to use we’ll cover soon. For now we
need to find someone you can practice on.
This will be different for everyone. Family is ideal. If you have
close friends you can use that works too. It might be a stranger
in the street or a shop assistant.
It doesn’t matter. Don’t tell them you’re doing anything differently.
Just think about who you’d feel comfortable speaking to.
If there is absolutey nobody? We can still deal with that but
ideally we want to start getting you some social exposure here.
So today’s task is to find that someone. It might be easier for some
of you than for others but I want everyone on the same page here.
So we’ll take it a little slow.
Your goal is find someone. Talk to them for 10 minutes.
Again, easier for some than others. If you feel yourself becoming
too nervous or having a hard time keeping the conversation going
then it’s the wrong person.
Remember there’s no such thing as a 100% “Shy Person”
We’re shy in certain situations.
What we’re looking for here is a situation where you don’t feel shy.
For me, when I started this, it was family.
You’re looking to “Win Ugly” it doesn’t matter who you speak to here.
You don’t need chemistry with them.
We’re not using them to grow a social life.
That’ll come later with people you’ll actually click with.
For now we just need a sounding board.
So that’s a goal for the day. Make it happen and
we’ll start working on some techniques tomorrow
you can use to expand this “win ugly” factor onto new groups
I know this is slow for some of you and harder for others.
Don’t worry we’ll all be on an even playing field soon.
Be Bold. Make Things Happen.
Chris “Will Chat to Anyone” Malone
Oh yeah before I forget.
For those of you who have been keeping journals
as you’ve gone through the training this week.
There’s quite a lot bookmarked for me to
keep track of. If anyone wants to volunteer I’d like
to use a journal entry as an example to everyone else.
We’ll be including a link to your journal in the training
so a lot of people will see it. And we’ll be covering
some specific advice for you so others can see how
you can apply it.
Ideally I’m looking for someone who will have a bit
of a harder time finding someone to use as a sounding
Drop me a reply with a link to your journal here if
you’d be up for this.